New years

2010. For some odd reason i feel like this is going to be a really good year for me i am going to work hard to achieve my goals and keep on pursuing my dreams. I am really excited to be just focusing on dance in 2010 i love being at classic image dance, and illmatics. such a dope group of people and positive in environment. For the short time i've been there, i have learned so much. My new years resolution is to have a more positive attitude about things and not be so mean, and also to grow as a dancer and try new things. In general i just want to grow as a person, and not be so narrow minded you know see the world in a big picture frame.

xoxo

irene

Discouraged

i honestly feel like giving up.. ugh i wish i was better than my self.. i wish so many things could happen. i feel like i am slipping further and further away from my dream. It was like last yr it was right there i was on point, this yr i am in a better environment a more challenging place with amazing people. I feel 'lesser' when i am with them. but then again i love it cause it motivates me to do better. Intimidated is what a feel. I wish i was more outgoing and confident. It's like when i feel like i don't have something i can't do it full out or i am scared too.. idk but motivation i guess i have to work harder... okay not guess I WILL work harder. i love the people that surround me in my dance life...ugh i wish.. i wish... i wish... i wish...

life update

October is a really bussy month! but its all worth it.. I hate not being able to drive.. its like going where you want is always determined by others? hurry up and be feburary already. I swear to god I will never be home... dance and school are my only focus I don give a shit about anything else.. except those select few people. so my mom. is being stupid and talking about moving houses? which I definately don't want to ... the only reason she wants to move is to acomodate others.. and her and my dad will stuff more people into our house..but of course she is going to make that bull shit promise "its only gonna be me and my children". if your gonna make a promise actually keep it... dance is going good:) I feel progress.. finally I am contemplating trying out for the illmatics.. I really want to. life is just okay at the moment could always always be better.

I like how my mom...

thinks she knows everything... seriously can't wait to move out... far far away. I'm really not going to miss anyone because the one person I actually care about is coming with me.. its gonna be such a relief getting away from my family!! gosh my mom is saying all this bull shit like when you grow up so and so Is gonna live with you HELL NO... no one is ever ever ever going to live with me. for a long time besides my love...i hate how parents try to plan your future...end of senior I'm out...can't stand my family can't Arizona... theres a select few people I love and I love my dance life! :)

Gossip is cool.

NOT!

It leaves me breathe less...

Dance..

To others it's a form of entertainment for me it's the other half of my soul, the other part of me....
it is what makes me, me i ask my self where would i be if i didn't have it..
Dancing is one of the only things that can make me feel on top of the world and bring me directly to tears...

What sets me apart from the rest of the world chasing the same dream?
I ask my self that everyday... i honestly have no answer to that question...

But, me i am going all the way... brick wall after brick wall they will all come down.
every struggle every step i am getting stronger..

I weep at the people that have so much talent but think it's to hard to go dream chasing i say.
Fuck you... nothing to hard to accomplish nothing, i am starting to believe that fraze if you set your mind to it you can achieve it becomes more and more true to me every day....

Dancing is the only safe place for me the only thing i know will always be there. I thank god for giving me this gift, and strength the try and take it to the next level...

But my one prayer is i hope i make it...


--Irene

Love is confusing...

just a poem...

Love....Love....
a word so beautiful, that causes so much pain...

love is giving someone enough power to break you down and destroy you,

on the other hand it's giving some a passage directly into your soul, to alter your life for the better.

Love... a confusing word.. means so many different things...

My definition of love is:
Giving a part of your heart to someone and trusting them not rip it from end to end. Love is knowing that when your alone and feel like the world has turned on you, your love is standing right by your side facing the same direction, love is giving a piece of soul away when it's gone theirs always going to be that empty feeling... Love is sacrifice, being self less...

Love is one soul, one heart and two bodies.

--IRENE

Life

whats holding me back....
why can't i be better....
I want so much, and i know i can do so much i just feel like my environment limits me. Can't wait to be on my own haha. So many great things are going to happen this year i can already feel it. School is going good for once i finally have understand teachers me and i can relate to the them better. Last year honestly sucked the only teacher i liked was Mr.cassidy :]... But anyways i started at classic image so far i love it everyone is cool. I wish i could take more classes i feel like i could be doing so much more, than what i am going right now. As for love, let it come over me like a blanket and sweep me away, or has it already ;]. this year i am going to be bold try things i've never tried before, attempt things that i could have never done in my normal mind. I want to try and actually live my life. Well i have a little more freedom from my parents now so that makes me happy.

life

haven't posted a blog in a long time so basically I am not where I want to be right now I feel like I can be doing so much more but my enviroment limits me. i really wanna start focusing on my future but its really hard to do that. I have so many things and people I don't need in my life right now. its hard for me to fix and deal with my own problems when I constantly have to deal with everyone elses it very annoying. people say your a "kid" you have no problems you have everything in this world you want you can have everything but still feel empty thats like basically what I am feeling. dance dance dance I swear to god that its the only reason I chose to wake up and I chose to be breathe everyday well not the only reason hahaha. I am glad I started at classic image I love all those girls & boys they are Amazing dancers some of the most talented people I've worked with they. so excited to work with senior company they are all so dope...well I am going to strive for the immpossible and make it possible I am going to dance professionally. just watch me . this yr is gonna be crazy I can already tell I am super excited. I am going to try and get into more classes well ta ta for now

Support love

For starts i'm a straight but not ignorant. Why can't people just accept someone for who they are?

if they love a man or a woman does it make them any less of a human they still have feelings. thats it SUPPORT LOVE. i support my friends! coexist

New studio

Classic image dance. I love it so far it's an awesome studio everyone is so nice the classes are amazing i've seen improvement in my self within the last week. I'm venturing out of hip hop and taking a lot of other classes. [still sticking to my roots though, popper for liffeee].. So far i've done: salsa,bollywood,jazz,contemporary,lyrical...etc. It's amazing and it's a gonna be a plus for me later in life when i am persueing my dream even more because i will have trainig in a lot of other things. I love the studio it is very pretty everyone is so good at what they do, the envoirment is a really nice family envoirment it's close to home so not to far. I auditioned for jazz that was extremely challenging but that showed me i have stuff to work on and can be at a high level. I am auditioning for hip hop company [ no suprise there sticking to my roots ]. hip hop will remain my main style of dance. focusing a lot more on popping cause i have it in me lol :P.. and breaking will be secondary followed by everything else. Classic is a bomb studio it is so diverse!

Mom...

I feel like my mom has so much on her shoulders. She is taking care of too many people and so many people are taking advantage of her. She has high blood and hypertension cause she is always so worried about people pleasing people helping them out. I just wish people could understand that she is MY mom the sounds selfish but i want her to live a long life. She has so many burdens, people want this people want that. Have they ever once thought maybe she Can't help me this time maybe i need to help my self. It's kind of drives me crazy me and my siblings have never had our mother to our selves for ONCE in our lives their is always people coming in and out of lives. taking this getting that. Our has never contained just our family we always have someone their. It's been like that my entire life and i should be use to it by now but i'm not? it kind of scares me to see the things my mom goes to people calling her from coast coast saying give me this give me that. sometimes i feel like telling them no for her. She wants to say it but it's as if she can't? in her eyes i can see it. I miss the good ol' days i say that like there was good ol' days. pray for my mom.

I want it so bad.

so many people chasing after the same dream! i think to my self what makes me unique everyone wants it just as bad! i love this feeling it makes me want to work harder cause i know i can be better. There is no such this as being the best, atleast thats what i believe :]. I'm gonna try my hardest so many things i want to improve on in life right now: Dance & attitude. Very important to me i am glad things are starting up again. school dance etc. I want to be so much more than my self i have so many ideas so many plans i just need a canvas to put them on? it feels good to have a blog a place where you can say whatevery you want without people judging you. People say my dream is impossible people say it's not realistic. I don't want to step out of my fantasy i love it. It is me i think my dream is possible and it will happen because I AM HUNGRY for it. seriously i am so motivated at this point in life everything is exactly the way i want it.. well lets not go that. [ not everything is the exact way i want it ]. I need some time alone like a week or two on a beach just to sit and think reflex on life!

Chris Angel Believe Cirque du soleil

fml

one minute I feel like I'm all on top of everything, and then the next my world is crashing around me.. last week was an amazing week . this Week my parents came back and I just feel like i have so much added stress on me. being away from them I feel like I've acomplished more... ugh life right now is a drag one bad thing after the other. sometimes I just feel like giving up, and just becoming an average person with a boring life 9-5 job etc. life is so confusing and my head hurts..I want to go on a vacation all alone that would be just wonderful. xoxo and I'm out

Update on life.

So i've been extra lazy lately with writing complete blogs actually filled with thought lol. But anyways things have picked up i just had a really good night and i am basically on cloud 9 smell so good right now :D. Anyways school starts soon and i start dance on monday, which is really exciting on so many levels i seriously can't wait i feel like i haven't dance in soooo long. But anyways i beginning to see what i really want in life. I am noticing who is really here for me and who isn't. So this is yr for me is going to be PERFECT. Even though a lot of things have changed which sucks in a way but maybe it's for the better. I've lost a friend kinda :/ well i haven't actually i just feel like we aren't as close anymore.. But anyways this coming weak is going to be extremely challenging i am going to work my hardest...
xoxo
irene

What i want to be

i want to be an american icon thats my goal in life.

my fate.

i am either going to end up.....

dead

in jail

or a professional dancer

-- ANA ELECRAFT

je suis désolé

i am sorry for being the worst person ever...
i am sorry for always wanting to be better.
i am sorry for trying.
i am sorry for being me.
i am sorry i make ur life a living hell.
i am sorry you are so blind to everyone else feelings.
i am sorry you put people before me.
i am sorry you are so ignorant.
i am sorry you think god is the answer for everything that goes wrong.
i am sorry for ruining everything.
i am sorry for not listening.
i am sorry for being the "dark cloud"
i am sorry for not being kind.
i am sorry for not being selfish.
i am sorry for being a jealous bitch.
i am sorry for always starting fights.
i am sorry for being me.
i am sorry for having a personality.
i am sorry for actually believing in my self.
i am sorry that you don't ever dream.
i am sorry that you don't believe in my dream.
I AM SORRY.

sheer brilliance. brought me to tears :]

So stressed out...

It seems like everyone is worrying about themselves why can't i ever do the same thing. I am beyond stressed out on family issues. Africans have one mentality they think about them selves do something stupid and worry about the consequences later and who it is going to affect. I seriously hate it they feel like they always have to be right about everything like can you ever be wrong? it makes me so mad how some ppl think they are always rite it's annoying i can't stand living here seriously. Can't wait for college hope everyone loses my number expect for my mom and those who really matter. which is only like three people. You reading this is most likely not one of those three people sorry. I am beyond stressed right now and it really getting to me this shity summer is making it even worst. Have you ever felt you have nothing to your self? seriously i feel like i have nothing at all to myself... even from a young age like what 4 0r 5 it's really annoying too.. ugh anyways this summer is pretty shitty and it keeps getting worst and my family is not doing much to make it better. FUCK SUMMER 09' it's super dumb

Life is....

BULLSHIT.

Three cheers for they worst summer ever!

I seriously hope things turn around by the end of this summer. This summer seriously sucks so bad i haven't done anything! It's so boring and i hate that i can't go anywhere because i have to ask for rides. I freaking hate it, gosh summer is so stupid this yr it's like they worst one. it just keeps on getting worst like i am not even going to lie. haven't done anything haven't hung out with anyone, haven't been anywhere this summer is entirely STUPID. like serious what happended to making summer 09' a blast. this is some crap bad shit just keeps happening and it's pissing me off. i haven't done anything at all it is so annoying. ugh i wish school would just start summer 09' is so dumb. Seriously i just keep repeating the same thing thats how mad i am. I HATE SUMMER 09' honestly.... seems like everyone is doing everything and going everywhere i just can't wait for school to start again so i don't have to be home at ALL. seriously i am going to occupy my self with so much stuff that i don't have to go home.

So whats new about irene

Well for starters i finally realized it doesn't matter what people think =]. Like seriously i realized i had so many distractions in my life and now it feels sort of like it right back on track but not quite
[ i'm not in dance yet] thats my current annoyance of the moment but it is all good. Hopefully i can make the rest of this summer good i am really hoping to go to NYC but idk yet. School is going to start i get driiivvee this yr so excited. Also i am not going to play on any school sports teams it is so not worth it? and why force my self to do something that i don't like doing, just to please other people. But i am taking dance this yr i am going to try and get into a lot more classes because i really want to persue a career i know it's hard but i will fight for it. I will be attending the beyonce concert as always :] that is going to be a blast. i am just trying to make this summer the best it can be, it started out horrible but now it's getting better. I am saving up thee money for back to school shopping i don feel i should make my parents pay for that ? I want to go to a bomb party this summer [brodies] haha. I am excited for that and i can't wait to go. Well this summer is going to get better i hope.....

PEREZ HILTON

Does he annoy the living hell out of you or what? like seriously i cannot stand him it's people like him who intern kill celebrities. They keep belittling them till they finally crumble. then there the first ones to write oh he was a good man? shut up with that bull crap... i hope Will i am punches perez hilton in the face again cause he does deserve it. He says people have no right to be mean people have no write to say mean things. His career is built up on condemning celebrities like seriously he needs to get a life and stop ruining other peoples. The reason i am bring up perez hilton is because of what he said about michael and i do not appreciate it one bit. Like shut up and get a life perez and stop ruining other people. I am glad pete wentz told you off.

Michael Jackson

Wow michael is really gone?.. i was in a state of shock. Michael jackson paved the way for so many celebrities. Honestly he was the last living legend to me, the rest of music is down hill from here [ some one step their game up] give us the next era's james brown and michael jackson. Michael jackson is who inspired me to dance. From a young age i would imitate what michael did watching the videos with the family seeing who could do the best moon walk. :D But it is just the american way they build someone up and intern they have to break them down. It a shame how the same people who condemned michael jackson are the same ones that are crying. But no one will ever surpass michael jackson honestly there was no one better and there never will be. Michael jackson is a true pioneer in music. He had a great influence on the dance style i love popping. Michael has to be one of the sickest poppers this generation. Michael can finally get the much needed rest he deserves. He is making music for god and they angels now. Michael jackson is what makes me want to dance like he is the one that made me fall in love with dance. I obsesses over michael videos trying to study moves etc. He is what inspires me to be great i love you michael jackson you are my true hero REST IN PEACE [pop in peace]

Where it all began....

people always ask me how did you get into hip hop? Well story time. So one day at school they handed out these orange/yellow fliers they where for young champions of America. I thought to my self its gonna be the same ol things! Haha from 3rd grad to like late 4th I took baton twirling with ycoa.. Anyways I looked at the bottom of the flier and it said hip hop I was like hmm seems intresting, so that same night my dad drove me to mirada to sign up for hip hop. I was so excited haha I even wore my cute little nikes ;) this was in 5th grade!my class in structor was laura holt aka LV. She taught me the fundamentals of hip hop, she taught me ALL the basics! My first top rock, my first six step, my first baby freeze, my first chair freeze, and about hip hop culture and hip hop fashion. Our uniform was the bright ycoa orange shirt that just says hip hop and we wore that with black cargo pants and black sneakers. Haha we looked pretty fly ;). Anyways ycoa was the first place I ever danced seriously.. I gained a lot of confidence from going to ycoa it was cool becuase eveyone had their own induviaul style and attitude it taught me to be different! Ycoa hip hop forever in my heart! <3 if I didn't join the ycoa program and meet laura I don think I would hip hop as much as I do. Thnxs for introducing me to the game :)

It is getting better

things are getting so much better now! :D everything my attitude has improved so much and I going to work hard to keep it that way! Well soon I hope I can start dance again in full swing this yr has been crazy and I will have more time for my passion now that I am quiting track. Well I hopeto be at a new studio very soon meet new people. Improve my overall technique in other dance styles other than hip hop haha. I wanna fall in love with other dance styles. But hip hop is my heart n soul no matter what haha. But anyways today was a good day I start summer school on Monday ugh! Xoxo iroc

bollywood amazing

good way to start off new season

Inspiration

Phillip Chbeeb is my obsession

I'm a Diva..

Love that song :D. Anyways i feel so much better now. Talked to my mom today and hung out with her some very much needed therapy. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders now i need to get back to work. start dancing seriously! plan a camping trip for the friends and plan to go to NYC. I feel like my life is on track right now and it's gonna stay that way. I start wack summer school on monday but you know me it's gonna be a breeze then i am out.
xoxo Irene

Exploring new religions

very opened minded going to venture away from being catholic for awhile. I am going to look in to scientology aka the church of science and buddishm.. Sounds crazy but I feel like the catholic church doesnt have all the answers.... Let's see how it is going to go I will update. Xoxo.... Irene

Killing me softly....

I miss dance so much It is crazyand think thats why I feel so alone! I haven't been to class in so long it sort of fills up the empty holes in my heart and makes me feel complete . I miss hip hop soooooo much you don't even know. Damn now that I think about it, it has been a good 5 or for months since I have been in a studio. God I miss it. Can't wait to go back :/ I really hope i can go to NYC it'll kill me if I can't go. Xoxo...irene :-/

All falls down...

I feel like its all falling down slowly. I can't even describe everyday things just seem to get worst, it is like I 2 steps and ten backwards I feel like I am going no where. I need a sign something to tell me everything is going to be all right. Its like the girl who never stop trying finally gave up I done think I am the same person. I feel so weak now :/ like strong on the outside cripled on the inside....but there is one person I can trust...like before I though I nada few now I am realizing I only have one :(, I wanna go far far away and never look back I really hope things get. Better for me especially at home things are so bad... Ugh god. Prove you are real? Xoxo irene.....-.-

Seems like..

Nothing in life is going to way i want it to go. Everyday it seems like new problems arise. I feel like i am never resolved? like i am not going anywhere and the world around is just like zooming by. Idk what is left for me to do, i feel like i owe the world something. It is the strangest feeling. I just want to be dropped on a remote island and chill there for awhile just me alone and think. Hopefully i can go to NYC this yr all by my self ugh. There are so many things eating me up right now :/. I wish my parents would stop comparing me to people, they are always like ohh look your cousin is going to havard blahh blahh blahh. It is so annoying, wow they are really going to hate when i tell them i want to become a professional dancer :P.
i feel alone.
xoxo
iROC

Inspiration

Love phillip chbeeb & Andrew Baternia

GOALS FOR SOPHMORE YR.

Dance more.
Join a new cru
make new friends
get a car - 4 door mini suv.
dance at classic image
make corona del sol dance company or jr.
be more loving.
have a better relationship with my mom
TRAVEL more.
go out more.
go camping.
visit los angeles.
go to nyc
get more sneakers.
have a better relationship with my dad.
not judge people before i know them.
avoid gossip

learn about a new religion.
practice the art of zen.
meditate
do real yoga
start working out at a gym
get a job!- not working for my parents.
get all A's and maybe one b :]
concentrate in school more!
not get in any trouble what so ever
not talk back to people.
give 110% in everything!
get a new phone/ switch networks
goo to more parties
attend every school dance.
go on a family vacation with just MY FAMILY: grace, mum, dad, and kevin.
buy panda a dog house

why i am quitting track..

I feel like track is holding me back from so much, i only have one life to live and i want to live it the way i chose. Like i love the sport it just not me i don't like the competitive environment. Like when i am on the track i don't feel like i am doing it for me. I feel like i have to voice. i do it to make other people happy and it's not good to do things like that, dance is my passion and i want to take it more seriously. So i am DONE with track.
xoxo
iROC